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  • Writer's pictureChrystina Braaten

How words can change our lives

As many of you know, I talk a great deal about the words we use and the power they have on our mind, body, and soul. There are a number of authors that I have suggested to read which also discuss words and the impact they have on us. I have talked about Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg in a blog in 2019 (he has three additions which each one is like a new book with new information). Rosenberg talks about words from a perspective of improving relationships and workplace communication. The book Law of Attraction by Michael J. Loiser discusses the universal law of how words can attract a negative or positive experience. I will be writing a blog in the future on this book and how you can use it to change negative patterns in your life and create a different future for yourself. And Don Miguel Ruiz’s book called The Four Agreements. In this book Ruiz writes that the first agreement is to “Be Impeccable With Your Word”. Today I won’t be going into details about each book, but I wanted to highlight Don Miguel Ruiz’s first agreement of being impeccable with your word.

What does Don Miguel Ruiz mean when he says to Be Impeccable With Your Word? Without asking him directly we have the book to guide us. In the book being impeccable means to speak with integrity, honesty, and truthfulness, only say what you mean, only say what you desire, avoid using words to speak negatively about yourself or to gossip about others, and to use your words in a positive direction of truth and love. That through words you have the ability to create good in the world or to create chaos and spread negativity. Okay, so that is a quick summary of what Ruiz refers to when he says to be impeccable with your words. But what does that look like and how can you use words to change your experience. When I think about being impeccable with my words I try to be as clear and concise as possible. I try not to speak in general terms, but if I do I let the other person know so they do not feel misled if the situation changes. I try my best to talk from a place of present moment with myself or others. Prediction statements are similar to “I can’t believe they think they will be able to do better” or “ I’m not sure what they think they are going to do”, and “Who do they think they are”. As this leads into creating doubt and a lack of confidence not just in the other person, but also in myself as I am the one using the words putting that energy out in the world. And because this is how I am talking about others, it ends up creating that experience for myself.

How we talk to others and ourselves is directly linked to how we feel. Here are a few senariors to better understand how the way we talk is directly linked to how we feel. If you feel a lack of confidence, feel you are arguing with staff and patrons, feel overwhelmed with work, and/or find yourself talking to others about how they are not understanding your role is directly linked to the words you use in conversation. Instead of correcting individuals on what you do not do, say what you role is in a positive tone, even if you don’t feel that way in the beginning. If you change the words you use when talking to yourself and others you will change the experience. Maybe you are feeling alone right now and isolated from others. Covid has changed people's lives in how we interact. Many people are staying at home without work, many are working from home, and on some level we all feel a lack in connection with others. If you say you feel isolated, then you will be isolated. If you say you are lonely, then you will be lonely. This goes for if you are alone in a home, or in a crowd of people. If you talk to people using words that maintain this thinking then you continue to recreate that in your experience.

I like to say at this point “it’s a fake it till you make it situation”. Now that you are in this place and have attracted this type of experience through your words. You have to say different words before you are going to attract a different experience. Until you start saying those words, you will not feel the difference. You will continue to feel whatever your words are attracting until you change them for a different experience. Even if you feel like those words are stupid, dumb, a waste of time, and don’t work. First, stop saying “no, that’s dumb and it will not work”. Let that be the first word you change. Instead say “this is different, and let's give it a try” or “this is different, and it will work”. By simply changing these words you will see this work to create a different experience.

Once you change your words you start to actually make choices that align with the words you are using. So let's say I feel lonely at home. I might actually live with a partner or roommate, I might have pets I interact with, or maybe I live alone. Regardless of the living situation I feel I am alone and feel an emptiness, disconnection, and this loneliness. The words that I will use to describe my situation and the thoughts I have will maintain these feelings if the words I use are all about how isolated and disconnected I feel. All my energy is going into this feeling of loneliness, isolations, and disconnection. But if I start to become more impeccable with my words and start to say things that would bring me out of these feelings like, I am connected by texting with people, talking on the phone, and through online connections. I am getting out when I go to the store, getting the mail (if you have a post office box), or going for a “Sunday drive” (I might even start waving at people to create more connections). Through these words I begin to change the feeling of loneliness which in turn begins to change how I experience the situation. I may even begin to build new relationships, create new routines that bring joy to my life all because I use different words first to change the negative into something I do want thus manifesting it for my life. All this started with words. Being impeccable with words and changing them from one that creates and sustains a negative experience to one that can create and sustain a positive experience. You cannot change something physically without shifting your thinking from what brought you the negative experience in the first place. The more you use words in a negative way to describe your experience or opinion on another person, the more you create that experience in your life. Some people call this type of outcome a self-fulfilling prophecy. We say it so much that it eventually comes true and when it does we say “see…I told you it was going to happen”. When the reality is we participated fully in the creation of that experience. If you think someone will not be able to do their job you participate in the creation of that person not being able to do the job because you interact with them with the opinion and knowledge that no matter what you do they will be unsuccessful. And the same goes for yourself. If you think you will never be able to do something, you will not…because you interact with yourself with the barrier of the words you use to create your experience.

Be impeccable with your words…and you can change your world. Sending you love, light, happiness, and health.

Yours in Healing,


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