Fear...and what to do about it.
My apologies for not having this month's blog out sooner. I sat down several times to write with a few different topics in mind. None of them felt right. If you have had a session with me, you know I am all about following your intuition. Mine has been telling me that this month is going to be a big month. So I could not write a blog about a book that is helpful. I needed to write something more, something that we are all experiencing in one form or another. So today...I am going to write to you about fear...and what to do about it.
Everywhere I look I see fear. Even when there was no fear there before. What is feeding this fear? Here I am sure you are going to think I will create some conspiracy about the post Covid-19 war we are living in, but I am not. There is an incredible amount of information out there to discuss the topic of Covid-19 and I will leave it to you to inform yourselves on what is going on. I will however make the suggestion to use uncensored sites like duckduckgo.com (only one I know about right now but I am sure there are more out there) to complete your searching. It is really important you are informing yourselves with accurate information and not propaganda, false news, or leading headlines. I am however, going to talk about the post Covid-19 world and fear. Where is this fear coming from...is it coming from something outside of ourselves or it is something more internal?
All fear starts from somewhere...and it is always internal. Does that shock you to hear? Does something inside of you right away get angry and disagree with the statement making you want to stop reading? As soon as we become aware of something that challenges our current belief system our Ego's first response to is stop listening, stop reading, and start defending! That is a completely normal response from the Ego. Lets think about this a little more. What is the Ego's job? Well, we have been studying the Ego for decades and that can be seen in all the information and research available to us online and in books. Ultimately the Ego is responsible quite simply for our protection and defense. This protection and defense can be further broken down into many subcategories like social constructs, social norms, fight, flight, freeze, beliefs, values, and morals. Really the Ego is a complicated process of our thoughts. Those thoughts that we have consciously and unconsciously. Our Egos are not all the same which has made it difficult to study and truly understand the Ego's role in our lives. And quickly I'll address the idea of fear being internal. What we need to remember is that until we experience (or learn) something...good or bad...our Ego cannot predict if it will be harmful or not. If it cannot predict the impact on us then it cannot respond in any way. All too often our Ego's in this lifespan learns that anything new is fearful and potentially very harmful to the body. So our Ego's immediate response has been to react without all the information causing fear. Think about a child and how they will go to a stranger without any fear. Their Ego's have not yet learnt that some people out there are not invested in their safety. Instead they have learnt that all adults are safe, unless they have learnt otherwise from a young age.
I like to sum the Ego up like this: The Ego is like a second person in your body, it is the mind which separates your soul from your body. Centuries ago the Ego looked out for you making sure you were safe. It helped you to interpret situations for survival and if your are threatened in this world it will do the same. So if you are a solider in a war, the Ego will help to analyze and fight for your survival. Not just physical survival but also emotional and mental survival through justification of actions. But, for most of us that is not what we are doing. Most of us (reading this blog anyway) live in a world where our survival looks different. We don't have to hunt and gather our own food (unless we choose too), we are not fighting for daily survival (although there are some who are), we have a roof over our heads (even thought we work hard for that roof), and we are safe from the old ways of living. Now is the safest time in history to exist. Even with the cold and flu season upon us while we may not feel that way. So why do we still have fear? The Ego is a part of us and does not quit its job just because we are safe. Instead, it will react to the current situation. And sometimes that means making up something for us to survive from. So if you don't understand something or cannot predict the outcome the Ego can become afraid and fearful making you believe you need to fight for survival through the response of flight, fight, or freeze. The Ego is like this second person in your mind who gets afraid when it cannot predict the future so any new situation will cause it stress thus creating fear in you...
What to do about it. I find that self-compassion is the most successful way in dealing with the fear Ego creates. Your life is not under attach in this present moment (this very second), but your Ego makes you believe that you are. So how do you do self-compassion? Treat your Ego as the other person that it is. A fearful child or teen-ager that needs to be comforted. Acknowledge your Ego's fear and say yes if that were true it would be something to be afraid of...but is that the reality. Your Ego needs to be acknowledged and feel comforted in that it will be safe and protected, Once you do that you will be able to see that yes...the situation is uncomfortable and might cause you anxiety...but your life is not threatened. Even during these Covid-19 times, your life and others is not at threat of immediate death in this moment. But the information that you know and knowledge that you possess may be causing your Ego to believe it is in danger and therefor you because it has never experienced times like this before. There is information coming that is incomplete and full of inaccuracies causing that fear to increase ten fold. Its because of this fear our Egos are reacting the best way it knows how. Only by acknowledging the fear with our Ego can we see through the fear and make choices that are lead not by the fear the Ego feels. So beauty can then be seen that we have control over our Ego although it likes to make us think we do not. The Ego likes to be in control...it can only trust itself. But if you look inside to your soul you know that you can move beyond the fear to a life that you want to live and not a life full of fear.
This is a big idea...and this short blog does not go into great detail otherwise it would end up being an incredibly long read. I am happy to discuss the Ego with you at any session should you feel interested in hearing more. Stay strong, sooth the upset Ego, and stay informed on your path to healing. Take care.
Yours in healing, Chrysie